My last post was right before my Kundalini yoga teacher training. I had no idea going into it just how incredibly intense the experience was going to be. Ten straight days of learning and training for 10 hours everyday. I was challenged to push myself mentally, physically, and emotionally. As one fellow student said, “This was a boot camp in emotions.” By the end of the ten days, I was completely spent. I had nothing to give, and the last thing I wanted to do was go on to the computer. I needed time to reflect and gather my thoughts. I needed time to just be quiet away from the outside world. I’m realizing now that I’m looking at what the noise is in my life and letting it go. In truth, I had no desire to write on the blog, although poems did come to me during the training and I hope to get those published. It’s hard to explain the space I was in unless you’ve gone through a similar experience. Chanting mantras with thirty other people was perhaps the most amazing part of the process for me. It was beautiful to sing as one, to hear my voice at moments only to become part of the whole in the next moment. Now, whenever I sing the mantras at home, I feel the group’s energy around me carrying me forward on my journey.
This training left me feeling like a blank slate. It’s as if I have no idea once again what I truly desire for my future, although getting back into the real world through my painting has been a blessing. My art supplies missed me!
My daily sadhana, or practice, is keeping me grounded. It’s helping me flush out the negative thoughts for at least thirty minutes and reviving my spirits. Every day the experience is different, but there is one thing I am certain of: Kundalini yoga keeps me more balanced, more calm, and more at peace.
Sat Nam to you all!